One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a £100 bill to his test with a note saying "A pound per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and £64 change.

Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!"

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?”
"No, miss, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Peter's teacher wrote to his mother: "Peter is a bright boy, but he seems to spend all his time thinking about girls." Peter's mother wrote back to his teacher: "If you find a cure, let me know. I'm having the same trouble with his father."

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